So here's the current manifestation of how I'm working on something.
I have an old game character who has recently achieved a fairly high rank in power and ability and he's working on not only those things necessary for the title (with power comes responsibility, etc., etc.,) but he's also trying to use some of this power for a personal reason or three. Among those is a problem he's attempting to balance out.
He works with a wide variety of spirit-like entities. The short term for some of them are "demons". Due to his amassed reputation and abilities, he has something of a following of these demons. Among them, he's also aquired a few dracoforms, a deva or two (pseudo-angelic beings) and other forms of a menagerie. What he's attempting to do is to keep the balance and at the same time not corrupt the universe with the prolonged exposure of these demons. And while he's thinking of it, maybe not let "the super goodie two-shoes" get too much an upper hand either. He's a kind of "lots of shades of gray and other colors" type. A Naturist to an Nth Degree ... in this case, a Universalist.
While thinking of how to work his way out of the problem, he's come across a set of theories that have spun his worldview onto it's edge a bit. He's aware of natural spirits normally encountered that are "native" to this level of reality and how they can be corrupted through the damage and endangerment to their natural habitat. In the game, this is referred to as Warping or Toxification. And, it is known that through a series of challenges it is possible to "cleanse" or "return to normal" the spirits in question by not only a series of rites and rituals to purify the spiritual being itself but it is also necessary to return to normal or cleanse the physical environment the being normally would dwell within as well (as above, so below).
Well, while thinking of this his train of thought (which of course is really mine "in-character"), he comes to realize that one problem may be analogous of the other. The demons might be demons because of their natural environment (not of this universe or subjective to the laws of this universe). At the same time, he comes to a similar way of thinking of the devas/angels as well. He then begins to wonder, what is "normal state" for those beings? Literally, if a cleansing/restoration process might be possible to return this other forms of spiritual beings to their universal true/real constant. Their "origin state" so to speak.
This of course then suddenly has a major overlap within my own thought process for a problem my mind has been working on for a while. While this overlapping of thoughts occurs, I then proceed to have a kind of mental anxiety relapse. It happens, I hate to say it... I'm coming to understand them.
So anyway, I've for a long time now held a strong personal belief that our own real spiritual selves, the intangible part of us that is both our self awareness and our extended self development is incapable of being tarnished by anything we think we can physically do or enact upon. However, the more we perform actions that are "not the norm" or are "out of balance" with the rest of the world about us, the darker and more shadowy things seem to become. The deeper we delve into depressions, self-doubt and a whole host of other passions that have historically been associated to be "dark" or even "evil". And only by seeking to keep ourselves and our passions in check and in balance can the inner spirit have any hope of being shared with those around us, tangible or otherwise.
We cannot for instance fully embrace the joy that is just being alive if we have not first found a way to shed ourselves of our self-doubts, fears, and other 'mortalizing' shortcomings. We cannot be true witness the limited view of the Creation about us if we are constantly covering our perceptions with the shadows of greed, avarice, egotism, dogmaticism, or any other manner of developed fears. And I say the limited view of the Creation because we are, regardless of viewpoint, limited beings of the here and now. And until we are fully freed of the limitations we have impressed upon ourselves through one method or another can we hope to, even if but briefly, view the Whole of Creation.
So I'm left with the thought. Am I afraid of being a single view of creation or am I ready to be a light for others and myself?
