More Important Things Than Paranoia

So after a barrage of events ending in someone hanging up on me, I took a break from the day (aka, a nap). I wake up later and check some messages and find one from a friend whom I haven't gone up to his place and hung out with in a while. He has left a message that says it is very important to get in touch with him. I do so, and shortly into the conversation I learn something that suddenly puts all of the other paranoia and conspiracy theories and imposed guilt back into perspective.

He's awaiting news on cancer. Lung Cancer. His physician already believes he has it, but they are awaiting the biopsy return. I'm not sure how to feel just yet, other than shock. This guy is a smoker, yes. And he smokes like a chimney, yes. But he's otherwise been a major freak when it comes to be healthy. He's older than me by a few years, but has a body that is otherwise probably 20 years younger.

So I will be heading to his place this weekend for a night and just hang out. Bonfire for sure. Booze probably. Target practice probably too (lots of milk cartons). And just be back with my friend.

Senioritis

So it seems there is this 'disease' that many people get when they are nearing the end of a term. Named of course for the apparent (and often evident) lack of motivation by many high school student at the end of their last year. It is a condition that strikes at many. It is a condition that I have chosen to recognize and oppose deliberately in myself.

In my not so humble opinion, a Master of a Lodge can never allow himself to fall victim to the draw of Senioritis no matter how rough things get. A Lodge requires all of it's component members to remain ever vigilant. Especially the officers, elected and appointed. And most especially the Worshipful Master or Head of the Lodge. This has in recent days been brought to my attention, both directly and indirectly.

Directly in that some of my fraternal brothers have brought concerns they have directly to me, exactly as it should be. Indirectly by way of discovery from events and statements that remain in a state of constant confusion.

So in short, here's the surprise. I haven't quit, and I have checked myself against my peers. I remain ever vigilant because they remain so with me. I do not stand alone. That is comforting. That is the source of strength I have found.

Since when was Sunday so Sacred???

Okay, the title is really just something I said to get attention. However, as i type the title in a question arises. When does any day become Sacred? How many days are sacred anyway? Who defines what is Sacred? Last I knew it was a group of religious cloisters hidden away who decide things based upon a social box so small that I'm surprised there is anything even remotely like clean-air still breathable within it. Or better yet, the more modernistic view that all the holidays are just creations of the gift card companies (Hallmark should be ashamed of themselves).

Every day should have something akin to a sacred aspect to it. Everyday we get to live and breathe and express joy or sorrow should be treated as sacred. The Universe is vast, and is mean VAST ... so we shouldn't take ourselves for granted or this world we have either. Everyday the Universe has another opportunity to visit us with something new. Most of the time, it may simply be a wafty of space dust. But once in a while, as our historical records have shown, we get visited by stuff that is far more ... impactive. And given that there have been some impacts of notable mention (Chicago suburb less than a decade ago), we should keep in mind that larger stuff still roams out there.

We also need to keep in mind that sacred days are everyday also because we get the opportunity to embrace and exhibit new ways for Life, my life, your life, his hers theirs, everyone's ... to be well, LIFE. Sometimes that means we need to remember we share this world. We are not compromising with anyone to live here. We *ARE* sharing already. We just have to come to grips with that detail. It is a fact. It is NOT a theory. It is not a hyperbole. It is a simple fact. We share the air. We share the water. We share the light. And we share the Darkness as well.

Changing the Tidal Course

It has been a while since my last post.  Part of that, the biggest part, is probably because of my own distractions and my own absent laziness.  A lot has happened since then however.  I've traveled finally beyond the state I live in, physically and more.  I have been reminded of the sheer Power that can be wielded by a few and how it becomes necessary to rend asunder that power on occasion.  I know now what it means to do something for literally decades and then discover that it is possible to have been doing it wrong all that time.

The biggest facet of my life at this time period is of course my association with my fraternity and the fraternal family that comes with it.  Like all families, there are trying periods of time.  And, like all families there are periods of time that come with it when we are all reminded that we can still love our family even when we can no longer share a home together.   This is that time period.  To speak bluntly, my immediately fraternal family, my Lodge, has achieved a state of functioning that allows us to move in a vastly more fluid and dynamic form than it has possibly ever done.  We have confirmed that we can do this and completely confirm to literally all the precepts and tenets of our Order.  We can do so without even bending a rule, but hand-in-hand with the rules and find it possible to embrace not only those rules but the ruling bodies that enforce them.

Care to walk with me into this Great Unknown?

What has been our sadness is that now we realize that no matter how open our hearts, minds and arms have been that some people simply feel that they can not possess their own identity while working with us.  This has long ago created a fissure within this house, this Home.  One that no matter how large we build a bridge from our shore we cannot reach theirs for they have chosen a course so apart from ours that it has caused so many to doubt the sincerity of so many people.  People who have not even as yet become aware they are an integral part of this.  Some people who have even gone so far as to deny their role(s) they will continue to play in this great living drama.

I am currently the "head of the lodge", the "Worshipful Master", this year.  And in truth, it has been a fantastic year.  Certainly, there have been challenges we have encountered this year.  But we are stronger now than ever before.  I have come to feel the Trust and Faith my brothers have invested into me.  I now realize that I have so much more than I have to do to have them fully realize that Trust and Faith.  Some of that I am now beginning to do again.  I am re-energized.  I have had my mind cleared.  I have had my spirit bathed in the waters and come out again fulfilled.  My body may remain ever-taxed, but it is ready to continue to bear the ever expanding burdens placed upon it.

What I now hope is that not only my immediate fraternal family is prepared for what is to come, but all the others whom will be impacted by not only their own actions but their own inaction.  And indeed, their own denials.  I can now deny nothing.  I can now answer anything put before me.  It may not be an answer that someone wants to hear.  It may not be an answer they agree with.  It may not even be able to answer all that they hope it might, but it will be an answer I can now give.  I am Free to do so.  I realize now I am the only person whom has ever hindered this Freedom.  I can also now accept the fact that it is only I whom have done so.

So I ask, anyone whom has read this far, can you join me?  Can you walk with me, if even for a while?  Can we show one another how much Greater this Work is when more than One performs It?

Fraternity vs. Fracturing

Well, welcome to the first post on here from the iPad. Keyboard is better than the iPhone but it is still not perfect. Anyway, on to the subject matter.

Many of you are aware that I am a member of the Freemasons and have been now for five years. This year I am serving as the head of my lodge and to be honest, most of the year has been more than just an honor it has been a joy. What some of you may not be aware of is that I am the eldest of my generation within my own family (Moms side as they'd say). My brother and I have been the proverbial vanguard for all the would be things that could go right and wrong for us. And, like my fraternal family, my paternal one has seen the effects of fracturing. And I find myself entirely frustrated by the simplest fact that the fracturing is purely due in part to lack of communication combined with overwhelmingly strong egos.

Have you ever heard of the Super-Heroes are Stupid effect? At the beginning of any new dilemma in a story, the bad guy/gal does something that at least one other person is aware of. And this first, most pivotal piece of information seems to somehow never be shared? That is the effect. Somehow this pivotal, life-easing, moment is lost and thus we get to be entertained by the (melo)drama that ensues. Now most of us are simply enjoying being entertained and so much so that we utterly fail to learn from the lesson that was lost.

Communication is Power. It is the Solomon Key. It is "the Lost Word".

Both of my families are at terrible crossroads at this point in time. My fraternal family is being tested by the One-Line Philosphers. People who believe that their own world-views are the only ones that matter. People who feel that all their years of experience give them the explicit right to be right. That fact is poisoning us, poisoning those around us still. And it is forcing the hands of the others to take drastic measures. Measures to ensure that the fraternal well is not to be poisoned for the generations to come. That the opportunity to allow all voices to be equal and for all voices to complete their communication.

My paternal one is equally complicated. Super inflamed egos have cost us the most fundamental of our core bonds. That shame and ego are blinding us to our mistakes of the past and preventing us from taking responsibility for them. That we a believing that those coming after us are making mistakes that we are at a loss as to understanding why it isnhappening. And now when my family is literally in a state of anguish so vast, we are so scattered as to be able to give aid, to embrace, and to care for one another at the time when it would be most helpful.

Anyway, this poser is definitely one of self-therapy. I have found my way to manage the mental turmoil that is My Life. I now Hope that everyone else can as well.

When a World Celebrates Death ... Regret is a Forgotten Past Time.

Yes, everyone hears me who comes across this post.  I have feelings that I can't quite express, so I'm going to try anyway.  First of all, a brief history of myself.  I was born on September 11, 1968.  I woke up to "9/11" by one of my housemates coming in and waking me up to the phrase ... "Happy Birthday Keith, by the way, their bombing the World Trade Center".  Now it is but barely what 36 hours or less since the USA killed Osama bin Laden.  And don't get me wrong, he was an evil man.  His evil had consumed whatever soul was given him at the time of the First Light of Creation.  But none of us should ever cheer for too long lest we forget what it means to keep our own Soul.  Unless we ourselves lose all chance of seeing passed the Darkness to the First Light and the Echoflash of ITS Being.

I am a very spiritual man.  More spiritual than most would ever truly believe in their core.  I see the more than just the measure of a Man, I SEE the MEASURE of MEN.  Of Humanity.  It's a blessing, a gift, a lesson and of course a terribly heavy burden.  It makes me seem cryptic even when I'm speaking plainly to them.  But I have to find an answer to something that is troubling me.

I have to understand why we as a people wide, continue to act as if we have never known the bitterness of Regret.  I really need to know this.  If I'm lucky, I will find out.

So here's a theory...

... and no, it doesn't undo any religious views that I can figure out so far.

So far ...

Okay, I'm a Master Mason.  One of the requirements to even be considered to being a Mason (of any degree) is that we each share a belief in Diety.  How a Mason determines Diety is left entirely up to his own belief(s).  But we all have that in common.  I personally need to clarify to a LOT of my brothers that this can often run people awry when they fail to recall that there are more views than just "Christian".  I for instance am an amalgamation of beliefs.  American Shamanic, Welsh Druid and ... dadadummmm born Protestant Christian.  I believe in God, and I even refer to Diety as "God".  Well, here's a warm-up folks.

"God" is not a name.  It's an Adjective.  A Nickname.  It isn't actually a Name.  Every Religious collective (and yes, I do mean "collective" not singular) keeps sacred within the depths of it's teachings the "Name" of God within their dogma.  It is sacred to each one of them.  And in all sincerity, what that "Name" is really doesn't matter to anyone else.

Do you know why?  Can you figure it out?

It's because it is the Word that they Believe.  If we each were to respect one another's views in religious beliefs (or even just singular Beliefs), then we should consider that each sacred word/name carries with it the sanctity of that belief.

I have another word that I use to describe Diety for me.  One of many in fact.  That Word is Truth.  That Word is Entirety.  That Body is the Cosmos, to the entirety of it's diversity and variation.  Because of my belief in that, I have recently (within recent months even) discovered that I can literally find Love and Joy and Compassion for every living being.  I can give Respect for every thing I can identify as well as for those things I have yet to or even may not get to.  In my eyes I hope reflect that expansivity.  I hope that when another being, every being, can find some glimmer of that incredible Work and that with a bit of luck they may find a bit of the Light that is their unique and equally important part of It.

And if they cannot ... then I hope they will help me to be able to.